Sunday, January 14, 2007

How to deal with a spouse suffering from ADHD

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How to deal with a spouse suffering from ADHD

It is believed that people with common interest gel well. But what about those who suffer from ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)? How do they deal with their spouse who is normal and vice versa?

There is many a time when a person who suffers from ADHD feels out of place in a non-ADHD world. He is seen to be inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive. The problem becomes more intractable if the ADHD patient is locked in an unfeeling marital relationship. The patient’s self-confidence dips and life becomes quite unlivable. So, what should be done?

To begin with, it is important to understand the way ADHD-affected people think. Their partners need to educate themselves about this disorder. There is no point in throwing tantrums if the behavior of your spouse is on account of a medical disorder. In fact, it makes more sense to change your ways to accommodate your spouse. There will be less conflict, and greater acceptability.


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There is no point in insisting that your ADHD-afflicted partner shoulder the same burden as you. In fact, this is the best way to destroy a happy relationship. It is even more foolish to demand that your spouse make a list of things that needs to be done, when you know that ADHD has reduced his or her ability to be better organized. Such demands can only end up lowering the self-esteem of your partner. A better solution would be to let your partner potter around, and feel happy in whatever he or she is doing.

Most of the non- ADHD partners think that their ADHD partners are lazy and ADHD is just an excuse for their inappropriate behavior. This is not correct. Instead of blaming your partner, you should extend a helping hand. Also, don’t overlook the pain and suffering that your partner undergoes in trying to please you.

Medication plays a significant role in improving the behavior of an ADHD patient. The changes are quite noticeable, and should be sufficient proof for any spouse who considers ADHD-induced behavior as irresponsible.

With proper medication and love and support, the ADHD patient can surely live a better and more meaningful life. It is for the non-ADHD spouse to ensure that this happens.


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